At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
Would it be irresponsible to use my tax refund for a boob job?
Yes. Highly encouraged though.
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
You can't just say "I scored us a potential threesome" and then not text me back.
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
Randomize
