I'm not a mortal combat character
but my vagina is
Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
what day is it and did you see me today?
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
Helped an old lady on crutches throw away her mcdonalds, carried her stuff to the car and helped her get in...most productive cinco de mayo hands down
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
I have family pictures in an hour and a half and I'm 9 beers deep. This is how I get written out of my grandparents will...
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
Are you in a good mood because I stuffed you with enchiladas, ice cream, penis, and cuddles last night?
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
I woke up under a house in Key West
i had sex with a girl named after a fruit last night and it was the best thing to happen to me in 2020
Randomize
