Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
I just added 'steal mom's xanax' to my to do list for when I go home for Easter.
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
I blacked out at work again... Except this time my boss watched me throw up by the bus stop and some woman let me sleep on her shoulder for an hour. Why does this keep happening?
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
Randomize
