I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
so after all day drinking, we went to an all u can eat crab place and i was going from table to table surveying the crowd if they though the crab i was carrying around looked like the flying dog from never ending story...what the hell is wrong with me?
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
I ACCIDENTALLY HOOKED UP WITH A GUY WHO HAS A NICHOLAS CAGE POSTER ABOVE HIS BED I CANT HANDLE LIFE.
The universe is either telling you 1. you make terrible decisions or 2. its time to let go of your hatred of Cage.
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
Just threw up in a baggy on the airplane. The guys next to me clapped and bought me a jack and coke.
Livin the dream
Randomize
