Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
Just watched a fat girl on a scooter run into the back of a bus head first
You are the luckiest man alive
I JUST WANT TO WATCH PORN BUT THE CAT IS JUST SITTING HERE LICKING HIS BALLS. I CAN'T DO IT.
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
If I wake up with an unknown penis in me one more time I am literally going to press charges to the makers of tequila.
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids?
Helmets.
TIL a potato cannon can be loaded with dildos as ammunition. Boy, do our neighbours love us!
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
Randomize
