I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
My drug dealer just texted me that his kid had a rough sleep and was running late to deliver the ounce to my office. Totes adorbs.
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
I'll always remember you bringing me that pregnancy test in the middle of an ice storm. Best friend ever.
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
She told him that she never wanted to see him again then took his takeout box of bacon cheddar fries and got in the uber saying "for feminism"
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
Went online to check my credit card... $147.87 at Waffle House. $632.36 at "Red Rose Gentleman's Club" and a $1000 cash advance from an ATM. I may no longer be a fiancé.
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