This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
I'm pretty sure he told me he was sterile and I told him I was on the pill. The positive pregnancy test I'm holding in my hand right now tells me that at least one of us was lying.
Im dating a 38 year old who's lap I can fit in. Tell me I don't have daddy issues.
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
YOU LET ME GO HOME WITH CREEPY RON JEREMY?!?
...and?
I hate when you're right.
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
I'm a bit broke right now... Would it be OK if I pay you in champagne and Xanax?
Tomorrow I need you to slap me in the face. I'll explain then
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
Randomize
