I'm drive I can fine osifer
Just checked my missed calls... why did you call me 37 times from 2:14 to 3:58?
I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
I just realized I'm trading you a pregnancy test for the morning after pill...
It's been a bad semester.
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
Jarrod's passed out on the chair with a cup of milk and I've been staring him down in an attempt to use telepathy to make him spill it. Attempts unsuccessful.
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
Randomize
