its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
I'm having a chugging contest on the streetcar. The driver is judging.
Plus someone just passed me a joint through the window. BEST STREETCAR RIDE EVER
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
Your 13 year old niece and her best friend half carried you from the beach to the pool where you then clung onto a raft and screamed about having pretty hair.
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
if masturbating while stoned isn't called "weed whacking" then i just don't know how to live my life anymore
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
He facetimed with his son when he was still inside of me. If that's not a dedicated dad I don't know what is
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
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