im pretty sure i just saw someone trying to catch a fish with his penis
I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
All I wanted was a good weekend full of booze, laughs, and maybe some penis. Instead, someone is in the hospital, I didn't sleep at all last night. And not because I got laid.
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
Randomize