In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
Tomorrow, if I don't look at least 5% better than I do on a regular day to day basis, I want you to hit me and tell me that no one will ever love me if I continue to look like I just rolled out of a cocaine induced hibernation. I'm asking you for tough love.
He came when Ron Burgundy started playing the jazz flute. How do you think it went?
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
Nope. Im a prince of the americas. I treat my women like future queens. Also, im drunk watching the royal wedding
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
Randomize
