That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
We have an unspoken agreement. He helps me move and I give him a blow job. It's really unfair to him considering he doesn't know how much shit I have.
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
Randomize
