But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
Did my married ex-boyfriend really tell me that he prays for me? Fucking Judas
I've started drunk signing up for 5ks. Who even does that?
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
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