So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
I think the sex offender registry is kind of a VIP list. You get to not live near noisy schools and parks and all your neighbors get to know you.
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
You told me you were allowed to keep eating butter because it had just passed midnight and you were on the next day's daily fat servings
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
You know how most people would take your keys when they don't want you to leave a party? Those 2 girls aren't most people. They took my pants instead.
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
