the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
You drew a lightning bolt on your eye and stomach in eye liner and made me sing Poker face with you in harmonies. I never knew you were still a music major when you were drunk.
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
You stood outside his house all night throwing your sister's leftover Easter eggs and singing 'now you're just somebody that I used to blow'
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
You drink too much. You cuss too much. You have questionable morals. You're everything I've ever wanted in a friend.
We had to push you home in an abandoned shopping trolley. You thought you were in a pirate boat and kept yelling "AVAST, ME HEARTIES".
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
So the girl I met at the bar last night came home with me. Played with my puppy. And left.
WTF ARE YOU DOING IT'S FUCKING VEGAN COFFEE IT'S MADE WITH NUT MILK YOU'RE NOT A FUCKING SQUIRREL.
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize
