Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
cynthia nixon should never get laid more than me
kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
Alive...but barely. Had dinner with my parents tonight which was conveniently located near where i left my car, phone, and self respect
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
Just finished putting caution tape around the tv. Sober me needs to prepare.
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
Randomize
