It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
I knew you were drunk when you poured scotch on a croissant and ate it.
I woke up laying in alphagetti with the message "I'd go get checked asap" written out in the letters.
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
Saw someone get laid in the bathroom no one was wearing shoes and I had a parrot on my shoulder...I never want to leave this bar
I think I should just accept my destiny that I'm going to be someone's second wife
My tits sealed my fate
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
Good news, my sex bruises are fading. Bad news, my boobs look like I have a skin disease because of it.
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
So the tow truck driver didn't charge us because Ian convinced him that he was sent out by God to share his cocaine with us.
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
They don't really make a "hey I'm fucking your ex wife" card do they ?
Randomize
