We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
Winner winner, chicken dinner. I am the sole survivor of the orgy without strep. Or maybe I was the carrier?
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
you got in a fight with your imaginary friend last night when he didn't catch you after a surprise trust fall
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
I just used my vibrator to scratch my back. This being single shit is for the birds
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
How are you feeling today?
Like Satan handed me a grenade and ass sandwich.
He went down on me for like 30 min and honestly half the time I thought about those videos where people can smash watermelons with their legs and I just wanted to do that to his skull
And then he peed in my hair
My Mini-Van Handjob Milf is leaving the company. I need to find a new job. I can’t handle this place without those handjobs
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