Whoa Z and x make the same sound
I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
A horse told me not to drive home last night. I think there was a cop on top of it.
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
Ran into my statistics professor at the bar, he chugged a car bomb and yelled "x bar mothfucker!". On average I'm loving this PhD program.
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
public service announcement: beginning at 10pm please text me at half hour intervals reminding me to keep my legs shut tonight. Note, this is not a drill.
On another note, I think my upstair neighbor is having sex. How awkward would it be if I showed up to her door with a bag of Chipotle?
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