Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
I'm puking to John Mayor, save me. Or at least change it to somethong beyyt
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
I should have known I was in trouble when you started pouring shots all over me
almost getting arrested is turning into fucking this cop in his ex wife's lawn. see you tomorrow
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
I forgot how weird my hair bleaches and now I'm a calico
You can wake up to my rainbow of failure
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
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