Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
"I'm 22, I could die in a piano bar." -a sentence i actually just said to my boss
Randomize
