new number. flushed my phone last night when i puked, made B help me look for it for 2 hours.
this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
I woke up and went to my kitchen naked and decided I wanted a fruit cup. Ate said fruit cup. Look over and notice my male neighbor is staring at me
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
Sometimes I stop and laugh and think "and these are my actual life choices".
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
It's my birthday weekend! I'm getting a Brazilian and he's going to fucking Arkansas. Where the fuck are his priorities?
Swear to god, somebody just drove by with mickey mouse in their passenger seat and he waved at me.
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
Randomize
