Walked home this morning with my contacts in a shot glass.
First class.
I just watered my plants with apple juice. Look what you made me do.
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
Stop calling dibs on everything with a vagina you jackass.
That should be the title of my autobiography.
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
Randomize
