He may or may not be blacked out. We put him to sleep in the community bathroom. He's wrapped in your blanket and he's already puked on it twice. Using your blanket was my idea. Maybe next time you'll ask before taking my vodka.
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
I haven't gone out since the baby was born. If I don't get arrested, in a fight, or both I'm going to be super pissed.
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
I wish the sun would stop judging me for being drunk while it's still shining.
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
You fucked two dudes in the same night and still went home to your cats. How does that happen?
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
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