Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
Blonde 1 is sitting on the floor crying and blonde 2 is asleep with her face in the toilet. This isn't what I had in mind when they asked me back
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
It wasn't until like 4 and when we got off the phone you said god was summoning you back into the bar
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
Dude, she doesn't even live here... She just can't eat all our food and masturbate on my dog's couch...
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
There's "red head", "preppy white girl" and "the two Asians I dated and now everyone thinks I like Asians"
Your dating history is like the united colors of Benetton
This mustache is awesome. I can't pass by a mirror without looking in it and thinking damn, I'd like to give that guy a handy.
I just lit a blunt like right in front of an old man and I was like sir please shieldeth your eyes
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
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