doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
my mom just informed me that i masturbate loudly
i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
Mmhmmm. I have a list of drunk achievement that is almost as long as my list of stoned achievements
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
His phone started ringing when we were pulled over and he said 'hold on, this is most likely more important than you', proceeded to answer it and agree to work sunday, then hung up, looked at the cop and told him to continue.
Randomize
