nut hugger
Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
dude i'm inner monologue high
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
My New Years Resolution is to get everyone to start talking like a 40 year old douchebag. From now on, you will only refer to me as Chief.
did you know the cops in wilco have clean up kits in their cars for when people puke in them? i found this out this morning. i'm finishing paperwork now. come get me plz?
Also I think I drunkenly signed up to be an uber driver or something because they keep emailing me to fill out a background check
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
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