Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
Apparently Chef Boyardee is the only guy I'm taking home tonight.
I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
Just had a handjob preempted by a huge bolt of static electricity leaping from her fingertip to my sack. I hate this time of year.
Two things. 1 - I want to apologize for my drunkeness last night. 2 - I want to pre-apologize for my anticipated drunkeness tonight.
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
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