i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
Didn't get laid. But got a free pie from a waitress. A whole pie.
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
They're letting me teach a freshman-laden class now. This university needs better background checks.
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
Still can’t get over the fact that we ate beef jerky off a strip club floor
i think if a sober person was watching us they would have not thought we were witty
She just texted me saying "come over and eat me out, my vagina smells like honey glazed ham." I know I shouldn't be, but i'm just so curious.
I thought I was drunk because I kept grabbing his arm instead of his dick
But then I realized it wasn’t his arm and that I was very lucky
Randomize
