no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
Alright dude i'm gonna go to go sleep off this soberness. my life is a cosmic joke
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
"Functional." Your standards for how you feel after drinking are so high.
When your night starts by chugging margarita and drinking vodka out of tupperware, I feel it's best to stay realistic.
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
Randomize
