He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
Shoot me. Guy hitting on me with a beaver on his head. Says it is his spirit animal.
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
I got turned off after he said, "i can see us in the future...me, you, and a back yard full of alpacas."
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
Happy Fourth.
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
Randomize
