Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
then they caught me trying to hide the turtle in the fridge
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
Zak is like the Picasso of masterbatory texts
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
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