Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
pray to the hookup gods
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
Randomize
