if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
My birth control alarm gets more depressing every night.
i just opened a bottle of wine with my dads power tools
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
my new game is to try to use the phrase "explosion in your mouth". as much as possible on tinder.
He sent me a picture of a gas station condom and said "we probably shouldn't use this but if I was to impregnate someone on accident I'd want it to be you"
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
I'm twenty nine years old, now is not the time to start trying new drugs. I need a hedge fund...not another drug-induced hangover.
Randomize
