My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
I may have just unintentionally roofied a man in a wheelchair
He really thought ahead and just left the tequila in the mail box for late night pickup. Best. Friend. Ever.
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
Why even have a ground level apt if you're not gonna let me climb out the window? I hate walk of shaming in front of toddlers...
I just went on etsy and my personalized suggestions on the page were either kinky sex restraints or baby things. I feel like etsy just summarized my life.
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
Randomize