fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background.
maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
I sat down with you and helped you write your will last night. I was THAT convinced that you weren't waking up.
i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
I'm not gonna lie. The only reason I haven't drank a whole bottle of crown tonight is because we only had 3/4 of a bottle left.
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
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