Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
On a scale of 1 to last weekend, how hungover are you?
I'm not sure what's more surprising, the fact that she said I reminded her of Danny Devito, or the fact that it got me laid.
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
Randomize
