are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
Don't be too mad at the guy who broke your kitchen table. Didn't get his name, but he knew all about your gay porn career. Like DETAILS...
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
Glad I can drunkenly remember to not get tomatoes on my Mexican pizza but can't tell a guy to keep his hands off my ass
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
My early Valentine's Day one night stand just took an uber home. Thank you, technology, for letting me enjoy this day in peace. 😍
Gave his drunk ass water, & he poured it on my shirt while saying "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!" When reminded of it today he replied with, "at least you came in first place"
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
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