I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
New discovery: conditioner is better for jerking off than baby oil. Fuck yes.
Only mom could turn an abortion day into a shopping day
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
Remember when I referred to my box of wine as my briefcase and made all of those stupid jokes about working overtime? Thanks for ignoring my cry for help.
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
Like he's moved to LinkedIn creeping on me since he's blocked everywhere else & I'm just so confused does he think I'm going to post daily updates of my life on FUCKING LINKEDIN
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
I would but he’s not speaking to me because I put ketchup in his socks.
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
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