i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
Life is so much better after having sex.
You tried to convince our cab driver that your $2 bill was worth $11.70
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
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