Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
I have a new fascination with cutting really small segments of hair off peoples heads when they're not looking.
The freshman came home at 9 this morning with one heel, no pants, and a strangers sweatshirt covered in tequila-scented vomit. I think we're done corrupting her for a while.
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
I was in the bathroom puking up mountains of tequila and when he came to help me, I held the door shut and kept yelling at him to let me be a lady.
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
I have a calendar reminder for world domination today, you wouldn't happen to know anything about that would you?
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
I'm just going to use my debit card. I feel bad buying pizza with the money I stole from my roommate...so I'm going to put it in my piggy bank.
Randomize
