If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
im downtown. alone. lost. drunk. dressed as santa. dont find me. i just heard someone say mechanical bull.
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
Look, I said I'm sorry. In the shower, "are you happy to see me" sounded just like "could you please pee on me". Honest mistake.
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
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