i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
You're just jealous because you lost me and I ended up at another party licking Marshmallow Fluff bikinis off of lesbians.
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
He stopped replying so I told him I got tested and it came back positive for chlamydia to see if he replied. His phone magically works again!
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
Randomize
