I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
I need hand sanitizer and jesus.
I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
Oh. Im drinking alone in a banana costume. Every time youre feeling down, i want you to think of me right now and know that your life is better than mine.
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
My mom just told me not to dance on any tables on Halloween...I'm choosing to take that statement as a joke
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
I need a beard to bite.
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
Flight got cancelled. Stayed in the same hotel as the flight crew so now I can cross Sex with Pilot off the bucket list
He regularly flies into DC, so I’m going to sign him up for my Frequent Flyer program!
Randomize
