I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
That reminds me...we need to get swords
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
Woke up next to a tiki torch spooning a plastic flamingo on a welcome mat i've never seen before with a "happy valentines day" balloon tied to my wrist, oh yeah and "i am a cougar" is written on my chest in sharpee and all the kitchen furniture is upside down...
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
Please let me buy the coffee, all my assets are in starbucks gift cards
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
I booty texted him nothing but three exclamation points at 3:05am and he was in my bed 17 minutes later, lest you think punctuation is not important.
This can only be settled by a dance off.
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