So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
I'm sitting in the middle of them on his bed, forcing them to watch Brokeback Mountain. I am the best cock blocker ever.
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
Nothing like having your house arrest ankle bracelet vibrate and take a moisture sample at the exact moment you're about to blow it in some chick...buzzkill
Dude. Steinbecking. It's when you double-fist coffee and alcohol to help you meet a writing deadline.
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
the fact that I can still put my shoes on is a testament to the fact that I can outdrink these bros
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
Randomize
