he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
i went to a real vip club. the bathroom attendant was wiping down counters after girls wearing gucci did lines of coke on them. where did MY life go wrong
This gyro tastes like lonliness
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
I was taking this cougar home in the middle of the night I walked across the hall all naked to take a piss and ran into to some chick from highschool she said no way you are fucking my mom ran into her moms room and started yelling at her
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize