I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
i went to a real vip club. the bathroom attendant was wiping down counters after girls wearing gucci did lines of coke on them. where did MY life go wrong
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
I woke up tied to the door handle with reindeer patterned socks. You can tell it's Christmas.
If I buy you $300 worth of popeyes, will that make up for me trashing the house?
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
I think there's a website warning girls about me based on the 4 who approached me separately tonight and called me evil. Fuckyoudave.com?
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
Look fucker, my sensibility and attention to detail is the ONLY REASON you're not dead now
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
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