what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
I sharted in my sleep... I didnt even think that was possible.
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
winnie the pooh came out of nowhere and offered me a burrito...it was a fucking amazing burrito.
If you're in the liquor store 5 minutes before close, and you have to ask the cashier for a coin to flip to make a life decision because "vodka takes you to a bad place," you need to reevaluate your life.
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
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