Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
What happened last night?
You soiled yourself again and told everybody that you'd given birth.
I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
nothing says 4th of july like teaching grandma how to work a keg
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
I've never used poorer judgment in my life. It's mathematically possible that I impregnated 5 women in the past 24 hours since I won the lottery. But I couldn't be happier about it.
Whoever put the rooster in the elevator is my fucking hero. Who even thinks of that shit?
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
Randomize
