Pizza is the life boat of my drunk Titanic
Operation Purity has been aborted
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
I got kicked out of a mexican restaurant last night for being too drunk. This is getting dangerously close to rock bottom
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
But what I'm actually thinking about is how everyone except me had sex on my bed this weekend and now I'm just sleeping in it with a 7 foot tall blue panda
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
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