I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
So it turns out my dad calls his penis "John" which means he either named me after his penis or his penis after me
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
I left after he drunkenly went into the kitchen and started to make eggs with a shitload of garlic. First time I'd ever had a makeout session interrupted by eggs.
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
Just learned a very valuable life lesson. Never motorboat a cat when they have claws.
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