...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
Screwed.edu
You had a beer at 10:30 this morning?
Ya, I didn't have any Tylenol.
dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
Mental note: adding peach schnapps to a gin and tonic does not "water it down."
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
I will be naked everywhere
Nothing quite like coming out of an alcohol induced blackout walking down Spruill Avenue carrying a silver briefcase full of IT tools you don't know where they came from. This is my life.
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
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