went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
You did this to me with your delicious pizza and moonshine.
I'll forgive you once we're drunk again by noon.
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
I don't know... But I do think this is probably the longest series of texts we've written discussing your cock. David was right, it is a brave new world. Also, slow day at work again?
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
I asked you if you wanted to go to the ER, have me sew it up or just wrap it in duct tape and keep on keepin on. You just said YES. I remember very little after that.
You're a good friend.
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
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